I FOUND A GATEWAY: From here on out when I feel alone, I'm just gonna reminisce on the past and then that will definitely make me slow my role and not want a relationship or companion. lol
After listening to the Fantasia Foreal show song preview "Seen & Heard it before" It put me back at a safe place and for that I am happy. :-)
-Outtie
Kiara Ann
Monday, March 8, 2010
I NEED TO VENT-Day 98
I AM GETTING TO THAT POINT WHERE I FEEL LIKE I NEED SOMEONE!!!
GeeWiz this is starting to get really hard for me, huuuu and it shouldn't. So here is a brief update. while days 60-80 were spent in Carbondale, a friend of mine decided that maybe I need to go out on a double date with her and a friend of theirs. Well I decided just to meet up and chat with the guy. He seemed okay, pretty nice. We shared some of the same interests and had some things in common, but once we were alone he tried to put the moves on me and he would tell my friends boyfriend things like, "I'm falling for her" and all that type of stuff. One word...CREEPY! There is noway a guy should feel all googly for a girl after one day and 2 don't you dare try to have sex with me....I DON'T KNOW YOU AND I AM NOT EASY!! I AM A WOMAN DAMMIT!! So its safe to say that I kicked him to the bricks. I mean all I was trying to do was go out with friends, not marry him. I'm still going for my 365 and he was NOT my type.
On another note...on day 97 (yesterday) I went to see Buster. :) Oh yeah I'm in Chicago this week for Spring Break and OMG its been a ship wreck ever since I got here. A good wreck though. Anyway back to the story, I went to watch movies with Buster and his family lastnight. It was cool... after the first movie, his parents left for the night and he and i got to cuddle, talk and play around. But that is the BAD PART!!! I really like this guy and the more little time we spend together the HARDER I fall. :-( and it only makes my 365 harder.
I'm thinking: "MAYBE I SHOULD JUST BE SINGLE FOR 100 DAYS" that's a landmark too... lol
Idk, apart of everything is easy though. Because Buster doesn't show how he feels, so what might be "I like her a lot but Im going to keep my feelings to myself" is interpreted to me as...I'm not that interested. Call me crazy if you want but it sucks when you don't know how to read a person not even a little bit!!! :-( Ish SUUUUUUCKZ!!!
All in all I am feeling it. Starting to feel alone that is. I never knew how much a companion should be cherished until I had to go without one. Boy-oh-boy!!!
Well idk...
guess I'll just try to stick it out...Even though I think too much!! lol-I'm starting NOT TO SEE THE POINT in staying single for a whole year. What if the right man comes along? Huh? Then what do I do, just turn him away because of a dern goal? Idk...see what I mean...thinking TOO much. lol
Well thats all for now, gonna go rest my brain. And try not to talk to Buster tonight!! I don't need anymore temptation than what I give myself.
Peace, Love and Frustration
-Kiara
GeeWiz this is starting to get really hard for me, huuuu and it shouldn't. So here is a brief update. while days 60-80 were spent in Carbondale, a friend of mine decided that maybe I need to go out on a double date with her and a friend of theirs. Well I decided just to meet up and chat with the guy. He seemed okay, pretty nice. We shared some of the same interests and had some things in common, but once we were alone he tried to put the moves on me and he would tell my friends boyfriend things like, "I'm falling for her" and all that type of stuff. One word...CREEPY! There is noway a guy should feel all googly for a girl after one day and 2 don't you dare try to have sex with me....I DON'T KNOW YOU AND I AM NOT EASY!! I AM A WOMAN DAMMIT!! So its safe to say that I kicked him to the bricks. I mean all I was trying to do was go out with friends, not marry him. I'm still going for my 365 and he was NOT my type.
On another note...on day 97 (yesterday) I went to see Buster. :) Oh yeah I'm in Chicago this week for Spring Break and OMG its been a ship wreck ever since I got here. A good wreck though. Anyway back to the story, I went to watch movies with Buster and his family lastnight. It was cool... after the first movie, his parents left for the night and he and i got to cuddle, talk and play around. But that is the BAD PART!!! I really like this guy and the more little time we spend together the HARDER I fall. :-( and it only makes my 365 harder.
I'm thinking: "MAYBE I SHOULD JUST BE SINGLE FOR 100 DAYS" that's a landmark too... lol
Idk, apart of everything is easy though. Because Buster doesn't show how he feels, so what might be "I like her a lot but Im going to keep my feelings to myself" is interpreted to me as...I'm not that interested. Call me crazy if you want but it sucks when you don't know how to read a person not even a little bit!!! :-( Ish SUUUUUUCKZ!!!
All in all I am feeling it. Starting to feel alone that is. I never knew how much a companion should be cherished until I had to go without one. Boy-oh-boy!!!
Well idk...
guess I'll just try to stick it out...Even though I think too much!! lol-I'm starting NOT TO SEE THE POINT in staying single for a whole year. What if the right man comes along? Huh? Then what do I do, just turn him away because of a dern goal? Idk...see what I mean...thinking TOO much. lol
Well thats all for now, gonna go rest my brain. And try not to talk to Buster tonight!! I don't need anymore temptation than what I give myself.
Peace, Love and Frustration
-Kiara
Sunday, January 31, 2010
Day 62
Today has been nice. Enjoyed church. A large pizza and a movie all to myself. and to top it off I got a pretty nice text from Buster.
"Hey babe just cuttin my phone on to say hi and i gotta cut it off"
Guess someone was in church. But the important thing is he thought enough to text me that to let me know I was on his mind.
Im still single and temptation isnt showing its face as much, which is great. Oh yeah btw I'm going home for Valentines Weekend. <3 I called my grandma up and told her. So she won't be surprised. (lol)
Well we'll see who will if anyone will be my valentine. (idk face)
More info as it comes.
Peace, Love and Singleness
Kiara
"Hey babe just cuttin my phone on to say hi and i gotta cut it off"
Guess someone was in church. But the important thing is he thought enough to text me that to let me know I was on his mind.
Im still single and temptation isnt showing its face as much, which is great. Oh yeah btw I'm going home for Valentines Weekend. <3 I called my grandma up and told her. So she won't be surprised. (lol)
Well we'll see who will if anyone will be my valentine. (idk face)
More info as it comes.
Peace, Love and Singleness
Kiara
Saturday, January 30, 2010
Day idk...but another day
LOL well as you can see in the title, I am unsure of what day in count it is. But what I do know is that I AM STILL SINGLE!!!
WOO-HOO...WOO-HOO...LOL
Any whoot, I am currently in the library, doing my homework and other successful things, without a temptation on my mind. It really feels good devoting all this effort into my school work and knowing that I am still on top of my game.
All is well with Buster. Funny thing: we fell asleep on the phone lastnight, and when I woke up this morning around 5 we were still on the phone. lol By the time I actually woke all the way up at around 10:30 my phone was still charged with juice and I guess his must have died, but its okay :)
I texted Kevin lastnight because I hadn't talked to him all day, so he called me. And I asked him what he was up to and he says: "chillen with Cieara." Ummm chillin with your "ex" whom child you have damn near everyday. and you claim your single. (haha) so you know what I did right: I kindly said "oh okay I'll let you get back to that" he says naw its okay, but oh no I wasnt having that. I REFUSE confuse anyone or get in the way of something that someone "doesn't" have going on. I don't need any of the drama.
I know what you might be thinking "thats not drama" but trust me I can smell drama a mile away...And THATS DRAMA. So adios to you Kevin. I hope everything works out for you and "being single."
Shoot at least Im honest with myself about being single. I AM SINGLE, yes I have friends here and there that I converse with, but not to a certain extent. And if it is to a certain extent. Believe you me that THEY and by they I mean MOST people will know about it. (cough cough Buster)
Well off to finish up my homework.
365 is looking better everyday.
Peace love and stickin it to the man.
-Kiara
WOO-HOO...WOO-HOO...LOL
Any whoot, I am currently in the library, doing my homework and other successful things, without a temptation on my mind. It really feels good devoting all this effort into my school work and knowing that I am still on top of my game.
All is well with Buster. Funny thing: we fell asleep on the phone lastnight, and when I woke up this morning around 5 we were still on the phone. lol By the time I actually woke all the way up at around 10:30 my phone was still charged with juice and I guess his must have died, but its okay :)
I texted Kevin lastnight because I hadn't talked to him all day, so he called me. And I asked him what he was up to and he says: "chillen with Cieara." Ummm chillin with your "ex" whom child you have damn near everyday. and you claim your single. (haha) so you know what I did right: I kindly said "oh okay I'll let you get back to that" he says naw its okay, but oh no I wasnt having that. I REFUSE confuse anyone or get in the way of something that someone "doesn't" have going on. I don't need any of the drama.
I know what you might be thinking "thats not drama" but trust me I can smell drama a mile away...And THATS DRAMA. So adios to you Kevin. I hope everything works out for you and "being single."
Shoot at least Im honest with myself about being single. I AM SINGLE, yes I have friends here and there that I converse with, but not to a certain extent. And if it is to a certain extent. Believe you me that THEY and by they I mean MOST people will know about it. (cough cough Buster)
Well off to finish up my homework.
365 is looking better everyday.
Peace love and stickin it to the man.
-Kiara
Thursday, January 28, 2010
Day 59--Jan. 28, 2010
I don't know why but I feel like I was dragging this morning. I woke up, got dressed, wen to class, sat, and YAWNED!!!!
Well no temptation for the day (yesterday) or last night. Buster texts some nice messages while I was at work, but other than that he's chill. So even though that saddens me to some extent. I'm actually pretty happy as well because it just re-assures me that I'm going to make it.
365...365...365!!!! WooHOoo
On another note I spoke to Kevin today, That's what I'll call my long distance (east coast friend) Things have not been going well for him. Some punk guys tried to rob him and even pulled a gun out on hi. He was grazed, but he is OKAY. (THANK YOU LORD) God is good, I tell you, but another thing I won't be waiting so long next time to call him.
Well I'm in my Digital Comm class now, off to do some more exciting we development things.
(See told you I'd be coming on here more often lol)
Peace and Love
-Single & Happy
Well no temptation for the day (yesterday) or last night. Buster texts some nice messages while I was at work, but other than that he's chill. So even though that saddens me to some extent. I'm actually pretty happy as well because it just re-assures me that I'm going to make it.
365...365...365!!!! WooHOoo
On another note I spoke to Kevin today, That's what I'll call my long distance (east coast friend) Things have not been going well for him. Some punk guys tried to rob him and even pulled a gun out on hi. He was grazed, but he is OKAY. (THANK YOU LORD) God is good, I tell you, but another thing I won't be waiting so long next time to call him.
Well I'm in my Digital Comm class now, off to do some more exciting we development things.
(See told you I'd be coming on here more often lol)
Peace and Love
-Single & Happy
Wednesday, January 27, 2010
Day 58
Yes it has been a long while, but I must say you'd be proud world. I've been constantly progressing here at school. In return I have had little to no time to be approached by male or female counter parts.
Buuuut... I must be honest with you, I have had many situations where I have been tempted. But all with guys who don't live anywhere near me. lol, one high school friend that lives and goes to school in Chicago, I remember mentioning his fake name in a previous blog, but forgot it...oh yeah (Buster) he has really gotten near and dear to my heart, but thank god he sometimes throws me off with the way he idk, communicates, just allows me to wanna distance myself sometimes.
My other friend who's originally from Kansas City, but now in the Army, we'll call him (Mr. Officer-lol) There's two things kinda going on there. 1 he's nice and near and loving but 2. is just something I'd rather not mention. lol Therefore I kinda just don't know what to think of that situation at times. I just let bygones be bygones. and go with the flow.
Besides that I've been great, EXTREMELY FOCUSED on school and all of my classes and doing very well with my organizations here at school. I even got to start another blog for my class work. Its on word press www.kiaraann365.wordpress.com its a rather nice site, and I plan on putting a lot of new work. up.
Well since I now have Internet in my dorm room, I will really devote more time to updating you world on my constant progress.
TTYS...(talk to you soon-chatty girl txt-lol)
Kiara Ann
Buuuut... I must be honest with you, I have had many situations where I have been tempted. But all with guys who don't live anywhere near me. lol, one high school friend that lives and goes to school in Chicago, I remember mentioning his fake name in a previous blog, but forgot it...oh yeah (Buster) he has really gotten near and dear to my heart, but thank god he sometimes throws me off with the way he idk, communicates, just allows me to wanna distance myself sometimes.
My other friend who's originally from Kansas City, but now in the Army, we'll call him (Mr. Officer-lol) There's two things kinda going on there. 1 he's nice and near and loving but 2. is just something I'd rather not mention. lol Therefore I kinda just don't know what to think of that situation at times. I just let bygones be bygones. and go with the flow.
Besides that I've been great, EXTREMELY FOCUSED on school and all of my classes and doing very well with my organizations here at school. I even got to start another blog for my class work. Its on word press www.kiaraann365.wordpress.com its a rather nice site, and I plan on putting a lot of new work. up.
Well since I now have Internet in my dorm room, I will really devote more time to updating you world on my constant progress.
TTYS...(talk to you soon-chatty girl txt-lol)
Kiara Ann
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