I FOUND A GATEWAY: From here on out when I feel alone, I'm just gonna reminisce on the past and then that will definitely make me slow my role and not want a relationship or companion. lol
After listening to the Fantasia Foreal show song preview "Seen & Heard it before" It put me back at a safe place and for that I am happy. :-)
-Outtie
Kiara Ann
Monday, March 8, 2010
I NEED TO VENT-Day 98
I AM GETTING TO THAT POINT WHERE I FEEL LIKE I NEED SOMEONE!!!
GeeWiz this is starting to get really hard for me, huuuu and it shouldn't. So here is a brief update. while days 60-80 were spent in Carbondale, a friend of mine decided that maybe I need to go out on a double date with her and a friend of theirs. Well I decided just to meet up and chat with the guy. He seemed okay, pretty nice. We shared some of the same interests and had some things in common, but once we were alone he tried to put the moves on me and he would tell my friends boyfriend things like, "I'm falling for her" and all that type of stuff. One word...CREEPY! There is noway a guy should feel all googly for a girl after one day and 2 don't you dare try to have sex with me....I DON'T KNOW YOU AND I AM NOT EASY!! I AM A WOMAN DAMMIT!! So its safe to say that I kicked him to the bricks. I mean all I was trying to do was go out with friends, not marry him. I'm still going for my 365 and he was NOT my type.
On another note...on day 97 (yesterday) I went to see Buster. :) Oh yeah I'm in Chicago this week for Spring Break and OMG its been a ship wreck ever since I got here. A good wreck though. Anyway back to the story, I went to watch movies with Buster and his family lastnight. It was cool... after the first movie, his parents left for the night and he and i got to cuddle, talk and play around. But that is the BAD PART!!! I really like this guy and the more little time we spend together the HARDER I fall. :-( and it only makes my 365 harder.
I'm thinking: "MAYBE I SHOULD JUST BE SINGLE FOR 100 DAYS" that's a landmark too... lol
Idk, apart of everything is easy though. Because Buster doesn't show how he feels, so what might be "I like her a lot but Im going to keep my feelings to myself" is interpreted to me as...I'm not that interested. Call me crazy if you want but it sucks when you don't know how to read a person not even a little bit!!! :-( Ish SUUUUUUCKZ!!!
All in all I am feeling it. Starting to feel alone that is. I never knew how much a companion should be cherished until I had to go without one. Boy-oh-boy!!!
Well idk...
guess I'll just try to stick it out...Even though I think too much!! lol-I'm starting NOT TO SEE THE POINT in staying single for a whole year. What if the right man comes along? Huh? Then what do I do, just turn him away because of a dern goal? Idk...see what I mean...thinking TOO much. lol
Well thats all for now, gonna go rest my brain. And try not to talk to Buster tonight!! I don't need anymore temptation than what I give myself.
Peace, Love and Frustration
-Kiara
GeeWiz this is starting to get really hard for me, huuuu and it shouldn't. So here is a brief update. while days 60-80 were spent in Carbondale, a friend of mine decided that maybe I need to go out on a double date with her and a friend of theirs. Well I decided just to meet up and chat with the guy. He seemed okay, pretty nice. We shared some of the same interests and had some things in common, but once we were alone he tried to put the moves on me and he would tell my friends boyfriend things like, "I'm falling for her" and all that type of stuff. One word...CREEPY! There is noway a guy should feel all googly for a girl after one day and 2 don't you dare try to have sex with me....I DON'T KNOW YOU AND I AM NOT EASY!! I AM A WOMAN DAMMIT!! So its safe to say that I kicked him to the bricks. I mean all I was trying to do was go out with friends, not marry him. I'm still going for my 365 and he was NOT my type.
On another note...on day 97 (yesterday) I went to see Buster. :) Oh yeah I'm in Chicago this week for Spring Break and OMG its been a ship wreck ever since I got here. A good wreck though. Anyway back to the story, I went to watch movies with Buster and his family lastnight. It was cool... after the first movie, his parents left for the night and he and i got to cuddle, talk and play around. But that is the BAD PART!!! I really like this guy and the more little time we spend together the HARDER I fall. :-( and it only makes my 365 harder.
I'm thinking: "MAYBE I SHOULD JUST BE SINGLE FOR 100 DAYS" that's a landmark too... lol
Idk, apart of everything is easy though. Because Buster doesn't show how he feels, so what might be "I like her a lot but Im going to keep my feelings to myself" is interpreted to me as...I'm not that interested. Call me crazy if you want but it sucks when you don't know how to read a person not even a little bit!!! :-( Ish SUUUUUUCKZ!!!
All in all I am feeling it. Starting to feel alone that is. I never knew how much a companion should be cherished until I had to go without one. Boy-oh-boy!!!
Well idk...
guess I'll just try to stick it out...Even though I think too much!! lol-I'm starting NOT TO SEE THE POINT in staying single for a whole year. What if the right man comes along? Huh? Then what do I do, just turn him away because of a dern goal? Idk...see what I mean...thinking TOO much. lol
Well thats all for now, gonna go rest my brain. And try not to talk to Buster tonight!! I don't need anymore temptation than what I give myself.
Peace, Love and Frustration
-Kiara
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